You can only imagine how short of time it takes to ruin a day untill you've actually lived it. In about half a second, our plans to hang out today were cancelled. Today we had a half-day. It was nice, except for 12th period. I was actualy excited that McLean wasn't here assuming it would be a free period. Long behold, we have a shitload of work and homework to dooo!! Bleh I got the classwork done (surprising considering my rate of speed) but I still had to. Bring a text book home. After school, he and I left the hs headed for Wendys. It was a half day and I usually have 4th period lunch. Man, was I starving! I was so excited to finally have a day where he and I could hang out. I wouldn't be much time together because he still had to go home and care for Jona, but it was still something. Jacob. Brought his guitar today and we also had to bring instruments home. I feel bad every time he has to carry both, but if your gonna bring something I guess it"s obvious that your going to hav e extra luggage later.
So were walking down Liberty St. and we're talking about our day. Making a few jokes here and there and I've got this smile on my face. I'm excited , y'know? Then, if I'm correct, at the corner of Liberty St. And Jefferson St., I told him that I don't know if I have a ride home because my brother has school. In my mind I thought, "Yeah I guess when we walk back to your house where I drop you off, I'll probably take the bus or something. Oh well." The response I received caught me off guard and I was confused. I was walking over a pile of snow at the corner when he stopped walking behind me. "Babe, really?" He said. I turned around, us divided by the snow, and he stood there just staring at me. "Your not getting a ride so I have to walk home with these?!" Thoughts shot across my mind. I was giving you a ride? Why is he so mad? Are we still going to hang out? God, I was really looking forward to this all week! Looks like I just ruined another day. Outside of my thoughts, actions were so delayed of reason. My felt emotions at the time can only be described as let down.. Not by him, but the day itself. Hello, my name is Stefanellie and I am uninterntionally inconsiderate. Had I known he was bringing the guitar and we'd have to practice over the weekend last night when we made the plans, maybe we wouldn't have been in that situation. It takes time for me to put two and two together in my mind and everything was just a mess. So there we were, just standing there, staring. His stare was that pissed off, I don't want to talk to you because you're so inconciderate kinda of stare. Mine was that confused, hastey kind. I didn't know how to respond or explain myself so I just stepped down to hug him goodbye. He would turn around and walk home and I would do the same. In stead, I told him that I would walk him home. I wanted to make anything out of this half-day opportunity. As we walked the other way, I then tried to explain my jumbled thoughts and attempted to convey reason. Ah, turns out I had an attitude in my voice. I've been told that so often, yet I can't seem to notice it until its pointed out. Gotta fix that. My parents hate it too. He stopped walking and turned to me and said, "Your talking as if you're the one mad. If anything, I should be the one mad!" Once again, hello, my name is Stefanellie and I tend to make others think I'm mad when I'm really not. Ah, I am a master when it comes to digging hold deeper into the ground. He said he wanted to walk home alone. And I already done my damage for today.
So I walked home. I walked the entire way home whih I haven't done in a while. I guess its nice to walk off your emotions because it kept my mind off the journey and I was home in no time. Walking down Franklin St., I had to walk over an huge snow pile at the corner. A car was at the intersection and saw me slip and almost fall over. I caught myself and my hand fell into a pile of snow. The car started beeping and I guess they were laughing. I didn't bother to turn around. All I thought was "Fuck you" I got up shook the snow off my right arm and kept walking. I guess since he had a long way home, it was fair that I should do the same right? Fairness. Photo is of the finish mask!
