Acceptance On The West Side.

It sucks that everything that I look forward to in a day or a week's time, being with you, is no stranger to let-downs and cancellations. I went the whole day tired, but looking forward to hanging out with him after school. We were going to have a movie night at DJ's to watch West Side Story. [I had never seen it.] I had already envisioned us on the couch just cuddling up, me feeling save in your arms. I hadn't been able to feel that for a long time, since the last time we were at DJ's house. I had already called my brother after school to pick up my equipment because we were going to head to his house. His sister was coming home today, Jon needed to be picked up, and Josh wanted him to come to downtown Newark with him. As hard as I fought for him to stay, for this day to work out, it wasn't happening. I was of course sad, but over the past year, I have learned to control my emotions [slightly]. I thought to myself, If we can't hang out today, we always have many other days ahead of us. It just just gets very frustrating to not be able to relax with the guy I love with all of my heart, especially at the end of a long, crazy week. As I have also come to accept, life keeps moving on. We will keep moving on. There may be sacrifices that need to be made and this is one of many. I can only hope for the next opportunity to be successful.

The movie was good for the most part. it inspired me to actually try out for the play, mostly for all the dancing I saw. As I watched, I realized that I've become much more emotionally effected by the conflicts because I can actually substitute us in their situations and see how much it would suck. Even though he wasn't here, there night was still fun. I pigged out on about 5 slices of pizza and a bread stick. YUM. Photo is of Emily and DJ as we waited outside.