Stray From Me.

Oh, how nice it was to be walking to Deejay's house with him, Jacob, Ana, and myself at 3:58PM. Usually, we would be heading out to the field by now, but the fact that the season is over means other wise. Today was great. I went throughout the whole school day not worrying about having to do anything after school other than make posters for Creative Writing. At Deejay's house, I perceived a good time, but everyone else saw otherwise. My tone of voice has really been inducing arguments and I need to change how I respond to people. Maybe my father's little talk in the car last night did mean something. These reality checks need to be attended to. We watched a DVD from All-States and began to watch The Social Network. He wouldn't sit by me or cuddle, so I asked if anything was wrong. He obviously said no, but I knew better. The entire time, he strayed away. Little did I know, the conversations back in the kitchen had irritated him. The other two noticed as well, but I didn't take it into much consideration. Then, my father called and asked if I was coming along to the mall with them. I replied no and he began to lecture me again. Life is so stressful right now. I didn't even bother to sit back on the couch next to someone who didn't want to be near me. So I stayed on the floor in front of the TV, with my charging cell phone. I felt so lost in the middle, making mistakes here and there. I called my family back and said that I changed my mind. I asked to be picked up. Honestly, my decision was made in the fact that he didn't want to be near me. If I was having problems with my father about not being good in this family, what good would it be to myself or my family that I was hanging out with people who didn't even want me around? So I decided to leave. I was disappointed in myself because I usually don't make such a decision, but so much in my life was going on that all I wanted was to relax. Minute later, I decided to go back to the couch, putting away my phone and charger. When I walked over, he was lying across the couch, but sat up and over to the other side. I didn't know what to make of it, but when I sat down, he called me over. I looked over to him and made my way over. Being able to rest my stressed, tired self against his was what I yearned to do for so long. I help his hand and I just cuddled into him, surrendering to whatever mistake I made and grateful to finally be where I was. Soon after, my phone rang. My sister was outside and I had to go. I was a little upset because I was finally liking where I was. Apparently he had to leave also and hitched a ride with me. On the way out, we stopped in the kitchen. He took me by surprise and began to kiss me. They weren't just kisses, too. These were the kind of kisses that told you that whatever was wrong before is gone now and everything will be okay. We left out the door and my life felt a little bit more.. livable. We held hands on the ride to his house and shared a kiss goodnight. I felt no hesitation for that last kiss.

The mall tonight with the family was stressful. I tried to help at the Verizon stand to switch my sister's phone over, but I kept typing in the wrong number into the phone. The guy was waiting at the stand, irritated, and wasn't any help either. I wasn't up for anymore stress tonight. I gave back the phone, and walked away. Apparently my mother made a scene later as she always does, so thank friggin' God that I left. Photo is of Deejay's pretty kitchen.