Not Your Boyfriend, Like A Stranger

I didn't know today would bring tears, but I also didn't expect everything to make-up as fast as it did. Lose-Win situation? I think so. As of earlier in the day, we were recovering from yesterday's fiasco. I was glad to be starting off the morning well, eating my bag of Cheerios in first period like a fat ass. Things were good between us as it was all throughout the day. Chemistry has been suuuuuuuuucking lately. I come to the class so happy and within the first 5 minutes I've given up. Aside from that, the day was good. We had a Tri-M meeting after school; there is never anything special about those. As we wind down to the after hours, I didn't expect this day to go bad at all! As the saying goes, don't take that for granted. On the way to Wendy's, we jokingly argued. Each of our opinions were strong, and we did our best to win over the other. Within seconds, smiles turned into frowns and the most genuine looks at the others' eyes weren't even looks. I will never be perfect. It will suck every time, but I know that these experiences will help me in the long-run. You told me to breathe and forget about it. I did. Then, we fell into another pit. I was upset and just wanted to get down into the core of this problem. My methods are not exactly fitting, which leads to my attitude shining through. I wasn't surprised when you told me I was giving you an attitude. There have so many times at home when I was called out for it, that to have you pick it out just confirmed it. It confirmed that I really do have a problem with an attitude and something needs to change. You didn't talk to me until I responded like a human being-not like your parent. The idea of me not mentioning certain things that have had opportunities to be said bothers you extremely. It hurt to know that you were hurting badly, holding back tears of your own. You confessed,"Sometimes I don't feel like.. your boyfriend. I feel like a stranger." I cherish the fact that I have you in my life a lot more than other things that have been around for longer. In such a short period of time, you have taught me so much and helped me become a better person. We finally got to talk it out, even starting to fill in a few moments with chuckles and smiles. This reassured me that although we were in the midst of a problem, we were going to be okay. And we did; we got better. After talking it out, our day ended short. You walked me to the bus stop and with your magical powers, the bus actually arrived right when we did. On top of getting over the arguments, I had a social 1up on the ride home. A girl recognized me from school and asked to confirm it. From there., we continued to have conversation and I was not nervous at all. Go team. I'm still being lazy. bleh. Photo is of a photo of my cousins; I was making a point: we don't look related..at all.