Keep Your Chin Up, Kid

Today was one of those days I'd rather not talk about, but we can't ignore these days can we? For the most part, school was fine, everything was fine, up until sectionals started. The ugly green monster inside me, hand in hand with insecurity, stomped over my day. I would so much rather hold together and be mature about something that is over and done with, but it keeps coming back to me. It's too out of line for me to be jealous when I have responsibilities to attend to. When this happens, a practice I'm trying to run fails and I get lost myself! That's where the green monster and Insecurity tag team switch. Insecurity begins to beat me up because I can't hold a practice together and I begin to stutter, like I did months ago, as I try to instruct. I kept forgetting work Shannon was trying to teach me to teach to the girls. After practice, I just felt so down, so lonely. There are days where my confidence is so immense that I can walk down the school hallways with my chin up high, feeling proud of who I am. But then, there are days like this were I can't even manage to lift my eyes up because I am too deep in thought, too worried. I just gotta keep trying. I'm not a quitter.

Outside waiting for my ride, I sulked into Rey's arms, just wanting some comfort. I know that this feeling will go away. I know that it is unfair to the other person for me to feel this way. I'll get better, I just know it. Walking along the high school's front ledges like a balance beam and pretending to be a ballerina doing nice leg lifts and flat backs, I felt better. In a way, I was alone in my mind, concentrating on myself. Photo is of that gorgeous view Insecurity leaves me with as I walk down the halls.