A Reality In This

"High five for a bad night," I suggested to Jonathan. I sat there tonight on the front steps, just so tired and down, and not because we lost the game! I felt like I did something wrong, but the worst part is that I don't know what. When I got home, I laid on the floor, asking my mother to massage my back. I pretty much fell asleep on the floor. Anyways, earlier today, things were pretty decent. As far as school goes, that went pretty well, too. I'm getting used to my schedule and actually liking it I kind of got lost through AP Chem, but after a while I just thought to myself, fuck it. Before I knew it, school was finished and I was so happy. I was looking so forward to the fact that he was coming to join us tonight, but slowly as the afternoon went on, did my happiness decrease. We had practice on the field at 4PM for the game, he didn't come out because there was no point. When I came back inside, he wasn't around, so I found him in the gym watching the volleyball game. I asked if he was going to come back up to change. He didn't have to, and just stayed down there. I had hoped he would come back with me, but he stayed. I went to change. In the midst of band season, I hoped that being together like this would make us closer. Because I'll be with my section and we can't really spend time like that, my hopes are not up to par with reality. I really really wanted to enjoy tonight, and I did, but I felt like I did something wrong. A reality in this is that it honestly sucks to be in the same place as him and not be able to be with him. I can't say that I regret tonight in any way, though.

When Half time rolled around, I had my mind on the very first performance for the color guard of 2010. I was very excited and very determined to make this one a good one. As I warmed them up, it became a little difficult to count with all the noise, but they honestly pulled through. I was so happy, so reassured in myself, that I'm doing a decent job. Sure, the performance wasn't PERFECT, but it wasn't bad. In terms of progress, that is everything I could ask for. We're going to get there, I know it! Photo is of the homework for Pre-Cal I think I have to do ahah.