Down The Rabbit Hole

This day didn't go right at all. Well, there may have been a slightly good outcome, but just barely. Today was supposed to be our day. The day you and I finally get to chill at the mall, specifically GSP, together. We had a ride and everything. There were no words that could express how excited I was last night. Going to the mall with you is a major thing I want to do one day. It is a day where I get to spend with two things I love: you and the mall. I woke up early this morning to take a shower and was dressed by 10:30AM, ready to go. We were in such good moods, especially after a well-spent 11 months, yesterday. Plans first backfired because my sister wasn't going to leave until she finished cleaning. Leaving at 11AM was now out of the question. Then, the day practically fell apart from there. He gets a phone call from mama forcing him to stay home. The refrigerator broke down and a repair man was coming by later. God really does hate us. Today was our clearest chance and there it went, straight down the drain. I tried to stay hopeful, I really did. I pushed time back so that we wouldn't have to leave for the mall until 2PM. I put my best bet out there that maybe the repair man will come by 2PM , we can get this over this, and still have our day. Time ran out and I had to leave. I was still going to drop off the shirt I made, very grateful that I was going to see him. Then, it's as if a rubber band had snapped. Remarks were made and behaviors were not tolerated; here we were falling down the rabbit hole again. I was caught so off guard with this that I defended myself. When I dropped off his shirt, I didn't want to look him in the eye for more than a few seconds. Hell, it was a damned waste of a short visit. I got out of the car, gave him the shirt, hugged, and turned right around, never looking back. I just wanted to go to the mall already.

The entire plan of feeling better at the mall backfired. The day only dot worse and worse. As I tried to look through stores, nothing caught my eye and I was in some sort of trance. I refused to let him leave the conversation because I strive to get past this. We need to learn how to let go of arguments and move on with life. My parents do it all the time and it seems like a god-given miracle every time. I would have to say it did get better, considering where we are right now, happily talking about the future. Anyways, today consisted of spending dead hours at the mall, going to Bed Bath & Beyond, and back to the mall again with my mother. We tried to go to GSP, but we got lost with strange directions. I ended up getting a new pair of converses, so I'm a bit happier with that. Photo is of mi madre et moi and DJ's bag so far. With my hair down and headband on, we kind of look alike. Repair man didn't come til 5PM, btw.